Looking for a way out of that crowded room? Hoping to meet that one person that just might make you feel special and worthwhile? Ever wish you were ten feet tall so you could look down and mock the tiny people around you, pointing at the bald spots and funky shaped ears? We all have dreams. The problem is finding a way to make them come true or at least relentlessly pursue them and twist and torture them until they fit neatly into your disappointingly contented way of life. Instead of looking for answers from strangers, one night stands, or that drunken guy at the bar who believes you just have to take his well-intentioned but painfully obvious bullshit advice; say no to that second drink, let your heels collect dust in your closet, and strike out into that crazy thing we call life before you find that your only shot at existence is on an endless repeat. This blog is my wakeup call – my inspired attempt to save myself from my own lack of clarity, trying to avoid the path that leads me to loneliness and a house full of miniature ceramic dolls and cats (one is ok, two is pushing it, but three – might as well throw on the orthopedics now and watch Golden Girls for the rest of my life with a dirty shirley in hand). Welcome! It’s going to be one weird, fucked up ride.